Reflections

It's hard to imagine what could possibly happen w/in the next coming year. Thinking back to this time last year, I could have never imagined that we would be where we are. A year ago we were finally adjusting to Daniel being in preschool, wondering if he would ever really like going to school. Now, he loves school and gets excited to see his friends every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Praise God! In a year, Daniel has learned how to write his name (first and last!), add numbers, recite bible verses (amazing!), ride a bike and learn how to become a big brother!

 Daniel in 2010 first day of preschool

Daniel in 2011 first day of Pre-K

  Daniel has grown in ways that show us, as adults, that we can continue to grow and learn, even when our brains seem not to work as well as they did when we were that young! :-)

A year ago we were grieving over a miscarriage.  Wondering if God would ever bless us with another child.  We didn't know what God wanted us to do and wondered if Daniel would be an only child.  I learned that miscarriages are so common, more common that I ever knew.  It made me sad and sympathetic to all of those women who had experienced a miscarriage.  My close friend had experienced one a year before we did and I never fully could understand the feeling of loss, loneliness, and sadness until we had experienced one.  I felt for all of those women who desired to have children but never could, or struggled to.  It brought me closer to God.  During a time where it seems like it would be so easy to be angry at God and to question Him.  I was thankful for His words in the bible and the comfort that those brought me during that time.  I knew that He was to be glorified through it all and I knew that He would be, whether that would be then or later down the road.  One thing I realized was that as women, we are tough and God has designed us to be that way.  Proverbs 31:10-31 explains what a Godly woman is and how we are designed to be; noble, dependable, strong, hard working, hospitable, and confident, just to name a few.  Our responses during times of hardship are what molds us into the women that God wants us to be.  I found that my response to our miscarriage was just as important as my response would be to another time of trouble.  I'm not saying that everyday I chose to be "ok" with what we went through, but I had faith that God had this amazing plan in store for our family and I needed to be patient (yikes, that's hard!) and trust that He would show us His will for our family.  Then came January 18.  We went to a fertility specialist (I'll spare you the details) and w/in a few weeks after that...we were pregnant!  It was like God was telling us "settle down, I have a plan for you and you need to TRUST ME"...if that wasn't ever so clear?!  Then fast forward to June 27.  We found out that our baby has spina bifida.  Yet, another reason to hold on for dear life that God has a plan for us.  Here was another opportunity for us to trust God and for Him to be glorified.  I have a feeling that this one is going to be glorifying God for years and years to come.  I had another opportunity to be a Proverbs 31 woman.  I fail daily at it, but I have many daily reminders of keeping at it and trusting in God to help me be that woman.  It's kind of neat how once you have children, your perspective is so different.  I have a responsibility to take care of these children that God has loaned to me.  These are HIS children and when I think of it like that, it makes me want to do an even better job at my role as their mother.  I see areas in which I fail, daily, and ask God to help me learn my lesson. 
I guess I got a little away from the beginning of this, but I was just looking outside this morning with the fresh snow and bright sun and thinking "it's already almost Thanksgiving?!"...another year has gone by!  Things that I was so worried about a year ago aren't my worries anymore (why did I worry in the first place?!).  Makes me realize (I never learn enough!) that God is in control.  That all I have to do is trust Him and hang on for the ride!